01 Sep 2010
by Lauriein 30 day meme, Me, me, me
Introduce yourself
Hi, I’m Laurie. I’m the oldest child; I have a brother who is two years younger than I am. I was born in Surrey, BC.
I am an INFP, with very strong introversion, intuitiveness, and feeling. My perception is at around 50%, but the areas that are strongly judging are all to do with time: I hate being late.
I live a lot inside my own head. I have struggled with depression: I have Dysthymia and I’ve suffered with clinical depression, the dreaded double depression. Just this past year I was also diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. It was a fun month. To top it off, I have fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome.
I was married in November 2007 on the island of Moloka’i in a private ceremony. This New Year’s will be our 10th year together.
…I’m really having trouble coming up with anything else to say, so if I missed anything you really must know, leave me a comment!
29 Aug 2010
by Lauriein Me, me, me
I’m going to (try to) complete this meme, because I hope it will be interesting, and I know it will be challenging. It’s the 30 day meme, see the outline below:
More
10 Jul 2010
by Lauriein Me, me, me
On the ride into work the other day it dawned on me that I have fulfilled a long-held dream. Sure it happened almost a year ago, but the impact of it is still huge.
06 May 2010
by Lauriein Me, me, me, Work
Yesterday my new boss sent me an itinerary of how my first day is going to go. It’s packed. I’m a little worried about 10am-11am, when we’re going to discuss the ideal Practice Manager position, Laurie’s vision and core values.
Vision I have no problem with. I am your go-to visionary person. If anything I see too much of the big picture, and not enough of the details.
But my core values? I joked today that I lost them about four years ago…and then fell silent, because it’s true. I attended a lecture by Shawn McVey in 2008 or 2009 about authenticity (very similar to this article) and I remember thinking “this is what I have lost sight of. This is what I’m missing.” I suspect now that it was a source of a lot of my stress and anxiety about working at this (my current) practice. The practice itself didn’t have firm core values (aside from the obvious) and the target was constantly shifting.
This new job is going to be a culture shock I think.
06 May 2010
by Lauriein Me, me, me, Work
Or, how you can tell that I have less than two days left:
Last week we did a mast-cell tumor removal on a big Labrador (he weighs over 110lbs). The doctor warned the owner to keep an e-collar on him to prevent licking, but the owner objected and said he wouldn’t tolerate it. So the doctor suggested boxer shorts (it works well, I’ve put them on Bender before). We stressed the importance of not allowing the dog to lick else the sutures wouldn’t hold together and the incision could become infected.
Fast forward to yesterday: the dog came in because his incision was gaping open and looking infected. The owner admitted to our receptionist that the dog had been licking at it “for a few days” but told the doctor (a different one than the one that did the surgery) that he’s only started licking at it a day or two ago. At any rate the dog needed another full anesthetic to have the incision debrided and resutured. When we entered the invoice, it came to nearly the same amount as the original surgery, but the doctor and I decided that we’d discount it for the owners. Since the surgery was done in the last afternoon we elected to keep the dog overnight because he was groggy.
This morning the husband called to ask when he could come and get his dog, and I told him that we had to wait until the doctor came in so she could check the incision one last time. He was not amused, but seemed to understand. Then we had this little exchange:
“I want you to tell Dr. [Awesome Doc] that when my car’s engine needs to be rebuilt for a second time the mechanic doesn’t charge me.”
Before I could even think about what was coming out of my mouth, I heard myself say (very cheerfully) “yes, but you probably didn’t lick your engine until it didn’t work anymore.”
Silence.
“So, you’ll call me when I can come and pick him up, then?”
“Yes we will.”
We discounted his bill from $675 to $200. We didn’t have to, we just thought since they had spent almost that much on the original surgery (and histopathology) that we’d cut them a break. And this is what we get? Jackass.
Oh and for the record: I doubt that a mechanic would rebuild an engine for the second time for free if it wasn’t his fault that it blew up again.
04 May 2010
by Lauriein Me, me, me
When people say they have a therapist, what do they mean? A counselor, a psychologist, something else?
I think maybe I would benefit from some sort of therapy (shut up, you!) but I have no idea where to start looking for someone or where to even start talking about stuff. I have come to the conclusion that I am Messed Up (and so are you, probably) and would like to know how I can either be less Messed Up or deal with my Messed Up-ness a little better. When I hear someone saying anything about their therapist it almost sounds decadent to me; it’s what people who live in fancy apartments in New York City do. Or women who go to the spa and have their nails done regularly.
I don’t know why I equate mental health with a luxury service, but hey we’ve already established that I look at things a little skewed.
I’ve had a few good months dealing with my anxiety, maybe due in part to the fact that I’m leaving the biggest source of my stress (my job). Naturally, then, my anxiety manifested itself this past weekend in a new and disastrous way.
*sigh*
Anyways, yeah. Sometimes it feels like it would be good to unburden myself on a professional.
27 Feb 2010
by Lauriein Life, Me, me, me
There is something in the works that I’m very excited about, but I don’t want to say anything about it yet because it’s not a given that it will happen. But I’m pretty optimistic that it will. My fingers are crossed!
02 Feb 2010
by Lauriein Life, Me, me, me
On Monday I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. The weekend was Fun Times, let me tell you. I had my first ever panic attacks and a complete breakdown of epic proportions.
My anxiety is centered around my job (oh, surprise!) but has crept out and coloured nearly everything, to the point that I am not able to make a decision about anything without agonizing over it.
So I’m left now contemplating a lot of things. I’m trying to be gentle on myself for this first little bit, but there are some big questions that need to be answered.
05 Jan 2010
by Lauriein January 2010 - "Best", Me, me, me, NaBloPoMo
I closed my eyes at my desk. They burned more for a few seconds, then they felt better. The howling and barking in the background faded away. The dizziness I felt receded then disappeared.
For a few minutes I could have been back at home, tucked into my warm bed, all cozy in my pajamas. I could almost smell the sweet, marshmallow-y scent of TKO on my pillows and shirt. The best feeling when I’m exhausted: the comfort of my bed as I drift off to sleep. A few more seconds with my eyes closed and I’d really be sleeping…
I opened my eyes and a wave of exhaustion crashed over me.
No, I did not sleep well last night. I don’t own enough concealer to hide the rings under my eyes (they’re there even when I’m at my most well-rested). I have zero patience, and I find myself perplexed by the simplest problems.
Argh.
04 Jan 2010
by Lauriein Life, Me, me, me, Work
For the past week or so I have been having a really hard time getting to sleep at a reasonable hour. I’m pretty sure it had a lot to do with being off work; it didn’t matter if I went to bed late because I could sleep in.
As it got closer to return to work time I started trying to get myself back on track as far as going to bed and falling asleep at a normal time. Instead I found that it was taking me longer and longer to fall asleep and even when I got to sleep I’d only stay sleeping for anywhere between ten minutes and two hours.
So I was pretty much RAGE-Y!Zombie at work today. Well, work was an absolute joke of a gong show, but I’m not ever going to talk about that.
When I did finally fall asleep sometime after 5:00am I had a bizarre dream where I was in a classroom talking to different versions of myself.
Tonight I’m going to have a hot bath, take some melatonin (even though it did jack for me last night), dab on some TKO and hopefully get some restful, restorative sleep tonight.
I hope this doesn’t become a trend.
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